Expat Assholes

So I was inspired to write this post after the expatsinitaly website posted an interview by expatsexchange ( complicated enough? ) by someone who clearly did not enjoy living in Florence. Fair enough, Florence is definitely not meant for everyone, there are times I need to escape too but what struck me as unique was with how much venom this person spoke about Italians and Florentines..




Here is the link to the interview http://www.expatexchange.com/rspnet.cfm?rid=95&answerid=24941&networkid=58&start=24941#comment



And here are some of my favorite quotes:

“If they speak another language in your new country, do you speak the language? If yes, did you learn the language before you moved or while abroad? If no, are you planning to learn the language?

I tried to learn some Italian before moving to Italy. I took Italian lessons once I got here. The Italian style of teaching and speaking goes all over the place and spirals around the main idea you want to get across. My tutor taught in this same manner and I got frustrated and quit after 3 months. I learned more on my own with a dictionary and trial and error on my own. Am I anywhere near fluent.... heck no! ....but I get by now. “

Um the best part about this is that he/she actually BLAMES the “Italian style" of teaching for his own inadequacies in learning the language.. Already a bad sign if you ask me.. Everyone knows the only way you actually learn is to surround yourself in an all Italian speaking environment but hey he “gets by" so I’m sure that enough to make this “expat asshole “ speak “facts” about the place he has lived in for a few years?



Next quote

“How significant was the culture shock you experienced when you moved abroad?

Awful! I was basically dropped here by my employer and expected to find housing, get a bank account, health care, etc. on my own. Only when my attempts failed a few times would they find a way to send somebody to help. Nobody affiliated with my work is really interested in helping new comers much. Most foreigners are married to Italians and just worry about their own lives. When asked for help, they usually have a million excuses to not be available. These people are very friendly, but not willing to help. “

Um what? Since when is your employer required to help you with the move? My father works for immigration in the USA and has lived everywhere in the world and has arranged his own details from Guatemala to Haiti with minimum help on the way.. News flash dude, this is the new 2010.. PLUS I know from going on boards like expats in Italy, people are generally VERY helpful. I have contacted at least 4 or 5 people and took them to the questura/post office/ etc etc.



“

Expats often talk about going through the "stages of culture shock." Examples include the honeymoon phase, the irritation-to-anger stage, the rejection of the culture stage, and the cultural adjustment phase. Do you feel like you went through these or any other stages as you settled into the new culture?

I had so much difficulty initially settling in that I never experienced a honeymoon phase. I have been frustrated from day one. Every day is a challenge here. Italians make things much more difficult than need be. It's almost like they intentionally do it to foreigners here in Florence. I am here almost 2 years and leaving in June. I have never gotten out of the irritation, frustration phase. “

So ok he’s been here two years. And can “get by “ with the language.. First mistake, once you fluently speak Italian you see how many of the things that frustrated you before , or much easier resolved when you can clearly get your point across ( and at the very least argue your case in Italian ) .. . Intentionally is a strong word and I am guessing he had some rough contact with Italians and probably took things/.everything personally…

“What, if any, were some of the changes you noticed in yourself that might have been caused by culture shock? These might include things such as anger, depression, anxiety, increased eating or drinking, frustration, homesickness, etc.

All of the above and experiencing depression like never before. Most foreigners here are married to Italians and there is no real expat atmosphere. It has been very isolating. Sure, I have my regular group of friends to go and do things with and I get out and have fun, but it is a small group and, quite honestly, this town gets stale quite quickly (unless you're a barfly). I have done quite a bit of reading since I have been here. “

Seriously? There is like 4 expat groups in Florence alone, afriendinflorence.com, YAWN, INToscana, St.james church group.. Mah? PLUS the Odeon movie theatre has many English movies, aperativos, right now there is even a film festival ( and was last year  ) , as well as food festivals, galas.. It takes two- to- tango dude.. You actually have to DO the research , which would take about 5 seconds via the internet or a trip to the information office where they have brochures of upcoming events..



And lastly but NOT the least offensive

“What are the most challenging aspects of the new culture?

Most Florentines are not friendly and do not care for foreigners. Nothing here has to be as difficult as they actually make it. If it's not Italian, it's not as good. Italians have a lot of pride in themselves and are some of the most arrogant and racist people I have ever met. They are also the most self-centered I have ever encountered....Italy starts with I! If there is a line, one will always jump to the front and ask questions, etc. There is no consideration if there are people waiting behind them, they will take their time to get their stuff done first (b/c it's all about them :0)) Itlians are VERY loud and unaware of when they are yelling in your ear or on their phones in a contained public space (ie bus, office, etc.). There are museums, cafes, restaurants and shopping; however, after a month or two, the novelty wears off. I prefer big cities and a wide variety of entertainment options. Florence doesn't have this. “

Wow some strong statements once again which leads me to think that A. he really is an expat asshole and B. he by saying the Italians are arrogant, comes off bit arrogant himself , no?  He is basically generalizing a group of people that really are very different, and calling all Florentines out. Yes Florentines are typically closed but that’s  A. towards other Italians that aren't from Florence as well, and a pretty common trait  from anyone who hasn’t MOVED and probably has their own set group of established friends. People come and go in Florence and generally Florentines know that most foreigners will move on . You have to work hard at making friendships but to be honest, I have found that everywhere I have lived and because of that extra work put in on my part, the relationships were even stronger.



Now , I really can understand frustration , after all I posted many blog posts about experiences, good and bad  in Florence. But the difference is I try and I emphasize the word "TRY" not to make sweeping generalizations and polarize myself and the very people I am trying to live around in such a way as this. Imagine if you are a Florentine reading this article? How would you feel? Obviously there are Italians that speak English and it doesn’t bode well to read that “your people “ are all like this or like that or feel this or feel that..

I mean come on.. Have some respect, no-one knocked on your door and begged you to live there. To be honest I have found some of my countrymen/women to be the LEAST adaptable of the international countries here and people just do it to themselves by complaining about everything that is different and wrong, and not putting in the effort required to fit-in ( language, socially) .

It's ok to complain but just don’t go on and on like a broken record or people really are not going to want to be around you, especially those you are trying to befriend.. Really..



I’ve learned a lot these past 5 years on and off in Florence, had the bad times and good times but lesson number one, respect is key, communication is key ( which is why it is INTEGRAL that you learn the language of the country in which your living ) , and most likely things will be better , a whole new world opens up to you when you can effectively communicate.

And don’t compare cause its just not going to do anything for you but frustrate you..It really is ok to NOT like the place you are living in and want to move, it really iS!. But, what is NOT ok is to publicly bash an entire country and its people because of a short stint you had in the city ( talk about it with your friends ( don‘t think he has many) or in private sure  but in an interview ? I dunno.. TACT is a word that is underestimated these days..

I know some Italians that are very "proud" of all things Italian, who doesn't , but I also know that about more than a few Americans.. it goes both ways on that gravy train trust me!

so folks that is an example of an "expat asshole " in my book or "stronzo" in the italian way.. almeno le parolacce in Italiano sempre funzione bene ;)